


A Visit to a Sad Planet

by shepromisestheearth



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Fluff, Kirk is the only survivor, M/M, Post-Nuclear War, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, Vulcan Science Academy (Star Trek), Vulcans and Terrans don't interact before this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-05-13 06:35:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19245793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shepromisestheearth/pseuds/shepromisestheearth
Summary: It came from a cellar, in a building that seemed once to be a housing facility, where multiple pieces of destroyed furniture and personal items lay abandoned. The first officer placed his hands on what was left of the brick wall, peering in.Inside, he discovered there was a human being.Or, rather, what once was a human being.-Set in an alternate universe in which humans rejected Vulcans upon their first contact, a landing crew from the VSS7882-3 beam down to a post-apocalyptic earth. Among them is First Officer S'chn T'gai Spock, who among the rubble finds the last remaining Terran.





	1. Close Encounters

**Author's Note:**

> So many of the people on my first spirk fanfic were so kind and asked for more from me, so here you go! I'm planning on attempting to make this a weekly update, but I can't say that my schedule or creativity will comply with that. I'll attempt it as best I can, however!  
> A lot of dialogue from these chapters are inspired by Leonard Nimoy's songs, and this fanfiction was conceived after I listened to the song that this fanfiction's title bears- A Visit to a Sad Planet. I'd recommend all of you listen to Nimoy's discography while reading this, especially the aforementioned song.  
> Thank you all so so much! I hope you all enjoy, and as always, if there are any mistakes, don't be afraid to let me know!

“STARDATE 2434.2, First Officer’s log: on a routine patrol flight in the Milky Way galaxy, I discovered on our sensors a planet careening wildly in an eccentric solar orbit.  
“I have ordered an immediate investigation and, with much difficulty, maneuvered VSS7882-3 for a temporary orbit. I intend to beam down with a team of three others in order to survey the area accurately. Updates to this log will come upon my return.”  
First Officer S’chn T’gai Spock ended the recording, and stood from his position at the Bridge’s starlogs. He had already put on the majority of his spacesuit- as the ship’s scanners had indicated a high amount of carbon monoxide in the planet’s atmosphere, as well as plutonium and uranium- and now needed to put on and seal his helmet. He began making his way to the transporter room quickly, tossing a nod in the direction of the captain’s chair.  
The planet had appeared murky on the monitors, a thick coating of brown haze in its atmosphere. Beyond that, the landmasses that were once there seemed deformed and grey. Transmissions did not blink on the communicators, and it appeared the planet was either dead or not as advanced as the Vulcans.  
A routine procedure, he found himself at the end of the hallway and outside of the door of the transporter room in no time at all. He stood still momentarily, waiting for the eye scan to confirm his identity. The metal door slid open with a small whistle, and the others who would be joining him looked up from last minute adjustments. Ensign V’Lalk spoke first, “First Officer S’chn, do you require assistance?”  
Dismissing him with his hand, the first officer lifted his helmet from the sealed glass case at one side of the transporter room. Placing it over his head, he clicked it into the snaps and a small beep emitted, alerting him that he had successfully sealed it into place and he was now being supplied oxygen.  
“We are ready for transport?” A security officer asked, looking up from the operating panel.  
“Affirmative,”  
All four Vulcans stepped onto the platform to prepare for dematerialization. S’chn closed his eyes and clutched the tricorder at his side. There was something about dematerialization always left him with a dull ache in the pit of his stomach, but meditation during the process aided in erasing the feeling.  
His mind was blank. There was no feeling here, just as Surak had instructed.  
He became a beacon of light, and the atoms of his being caught on a thought that he couldn’t remember to save his life, although his tongue would one day remember.  
Upon beaming down to the surface of the planet, the party became silent as they took in their surroundings, so much so S’chn wasn’t sure he could hear them breathing. His eyes dragged against the washed out colors of the dilapidated buildings, a suggestion that once there had been brightness there. The rotting bricks and rusting bent metal held true to something that had been here before. Some life that had been before.  
Now, everything pointed to the ruins of some great civilization that could be measured to Vulcan’s own. It sent a chill down S’chn’s spine that he quickly repressed.  
“There is a thick layer of radioactivity in this area. It calculates that there was a nuclear explosion 616.6 kilometers from here,” Ensign Wus-T’hilus said, checking the small screen on her wrist that tracked the radiation, “First Officer, I only detect a few readings of life on this planet, but they are depleting rapidly. It is logical to assume that there has been some sort of nuclear holocaust here.”  
Certainly. As if the charred bits of what once was biological were not an indication, the stench of death that the dryness of the air in the suits tried to mask. The emptiness.  
“I’ll remind you, Ensign, that VSA code states that there is to be a thorough search of the areas where there may be survivors Our sensors still indicate that it is a possibility, so it is our responsibility to continue in our search. Science Officer Hin, comm to the Bridge and request them to send other search parties to the surface,” First Officer S’chn said, arching an eyebrow towards the ensign.  
Officer Hin nodded and flicked open their communicator as the rest of the search party began to explore the few areas where life was picked up.  
Large pieces of rubble crowded the narrow streets between what were once townhouses, and the crew had to climb over the majority of them. Limbs of bipedals- humans, S’chn assumed, from research- stuck out from underneath them. Items were littered everywhere; a coat’s arm flapping in the wind, bags with their contents spilled, a cracked porcelain doll.  
As First Officer S’chn reached the height of the rubble, the wooden walls of what once was surrounding him, he spotted a sign. In what was once a bright red font, it read, WELCOME TO THE SAN FRANCISCO BAY AREA! It had crushed a sleek green cable car, where no signs of life showed on the sensors. Electrical wires that had once run the car sparked and fizzled on the black pavement.  
The attack, from whomever it was, seemed to have been a complete surprise.  
“All life readings have left the area,” Ensign V’Lalk called, “First Officer S’chn, should we request to be beamed up?”  
Something tugged at S’chn’s gut, that he could not describe, that urged him to stay on this planet. To comb through everything, and attempt to find someone who was left. There was no estimate on how likely that would be. Finding someone left to explain what happened, what caused all of this, seemed nearly impossible.  
Something inside of him could not allow for this planet to be lost.  
“First Officer?”  
S’chn turned back to the rest of the landing party. A sound tugged at his ear that was not Vulcan. His tricorder roared to life, spitting out a translation, “Help, please, someone, if there’s anyone out there,”  
It should have been impossible.  
“I will respond to the call for aid. I only request for Officer Hin to remain in the instance I require assistance,” S’chn said, and raised his hand in the Vulcan salute, “Dif-tor heh smusma,”  
“Dif-tor heh smusma,” the other members of VSS7882-3 echoed, raising their own hands in salute. Hin prepared her communicator again to tell the Bridge that only two of the party would beam up.  
Finding it most logical to sprint to the area where the voice came from, S’chn rushed towards the siren’s song. Climbing over the skeletons of buildings, down the street where the buildings had collapsed on themselves. He glanced for a moment at the water that stretched beyond the wreckage, where a red, metal bridge stood unharmed in the bay.  
It came from a cellar, in a building that seemed once to be a housing facility, where multiple pieces of destroyed furniture and personal items lay abandoned. The first officer placed his hands on what was left of the brick wall, peering in.  
Inside, he discovered there was a human being.  
Or, rather, what once was a human being.  
His face had several of what looked like burns, colored a harsh red that stung against S’chn’s eyes. His face was clenched in pain as the iron in his blood stained him, breathing laboured. Eyes widening, S’chn crept closer towards this figure bathed in his own blood. As he did so, he discovered what was the source of the man’s pain- his left leg was trapped beneath a collapsed wall.  
Kneeling down and offering out his tricorder so the man could catch the translation, he began softly, “I am Spock. I come from the Vulcan Space Administration, and we are here to recover you. What is this place?”  
“It was once a great world,” the man said, his voice broken, “We had intelligence… beauty…,”  
His voice trailed off. He opened his eyes with great effort, staring at the muddy sky as continued in a whisper, “Love. There was enough for everyone who lived here, but we were never satisfied. They wanted more… they- they wanted everything. They couldn’t live in peace… they tried to destroy each other…,”  
There was a panic in his voice, eyes widening as it became evident he was replaying what had taken place over and over again in his head. S’chn placed a hand on the man’s shoulder to indicate that he could slow down, to take his time.  
“They destroyed… everything,” His voice broke off, as he closed his eyes. His breathing regulated, and in a flat, even tone he said, “As far as I know, I’m the only living thing left,”  
Pausing, his lips stayed open as if he wished to say something else, but he didn’t.  
“What is this place called?” S’chn asked quietly, as he flipped open his communicator to call for Officer Hin.  
His head lolled to face the Vulcan, tears leaving pathways through the rust, “We called it… Earth,”


	2. How Droll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Following beam up, First Officer Spock finds out whether or not the Terran can be saved, and what knowledge he holds of a now lost world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo! Chapter 2 is up! I'm planning to work on this story during Camp Nanowrimo this July (I set a goal of 10,000 for myself, because, well, I'm not very good at sticking to one story and writing a lot for it.) so hopefully that will mean I can get a lot farther in this story.   
> As per usual, if there are any errors, please let me know!   
> I hope you all enjoy!

WHAT followed the beam up was the closest one could get to chaos in Vulcan society.   
Science Officer Hin had already warned the captain of VSS7882-3 of the single survivor they were bringing aboard, and the possibility of him being a hive of radioactivity due to his exposure on the surface.   
When the two beamed back aboard, two Vulcans clad in white suits similar to their own rushed towards them and seized the human from Spock. He had passed out previously, while the two officers were freeing his leg from underneath the wreckage. Due to their combined super strength, it didn’t take very long, but the leg didn’t look good. Everything below the beige shorts he wore blossomed in violent plums and violets.   
The clean up Vulcans placed the human in a similar suit to their own, and beckoned to the officers to follow them as they entered a set of side doors. The group entered a vacuumed corridor, with several doors that led into sanitation rooms. An orange sign on every door indicated this.   
Officer Hin entered her decontamination room first. Spock followed her as he came to the next room, the doors sealing shut behind him. Pulling off his helmet, he placed it into the chute. This was followed by the rest of his suit and all of his underclothing. His tricorder, however, was put into a sealed plastic box in order to retrieve its data and then dispose of the exterior. He then stepped into the sealed shower, finding that his hands were trembling.   
He did not know why, nor did he care to find out.   
As the water crashed onto his sleek hair, his eyes lingered on the plastic bag that contained the clothing he would change into. His last name and the grey insignia of the VSA glared back at him. He raised his hands to his face and gripped his temples, trying to recall Terran history.   
First contact had been made on April 5, 2063, which was now shy of two centuries ago. Vulcans had come in peace. Preparing for summits with important world leaders to establish an alliance, Vulcan ambassadors had learned common Terran languages.   
However, humans had not taken their taps into conversations to observe languages and customs lightly, and had interpreted it as a sort of worldwide-terrorist attack. Humans prepared for war on the Vulcans, but their technology wasn’t advanced enough.   
As humans began to build colonies on other planets, they warmed to Vulcans. English was offered as a course in the academies at Vulcan, and Spock had taken it himself. But nothing had ever been solid.  
The Vulcans had never returned until now, and had delved even deeper into Surak’s teachings.   
Humans, it seemed, were everything that Surak had warned against.   
And now… this had happened.   
The shower turned off, on a five minute timer. Spock reached for the vacuum-sealed towel and dried himself off before changing into his clothing. A whistle emitted that alerted him that the room he had previously been in, along with the hallway, was decontaminated, and he was free to leave. He didn’t know if Officer Hin had left, but he could converse with her over dinner if he truly wished to.   
He began making his way to the med bay to check on the human, to ensure that he had safely made the transition from earth. Upon reaching the door to the elevator, Spock found that Ensign Wus-T’hilus would be joining him. The ensign seemed to stiffen as Spock stood beside him.   
“Ensign, did you find your return to be supplementary to your needs? You seemed to have something of great importance to take care of on the ship.”   
“I had nothing of importance to tend to on the ship, First Officer. I only encouraged our return because of the lack of data supporting there being a chance of life on the planet,” His voice was rigid as he responded to his superior officer, eyes following Spock’s finger as it began to press the button for med bay, “How was the recovery of the human?”  
“Thus far, successful. I am visiting him in the med bay now. Have you conferred with Captain Spenitt on the matter?”  
“He is aware,” The ensign turned away from him and pursed his lips.  
Spock raised an eyebrow at this, but the elevator beeped before he could comment. He nodded to the ensign and stepped out as the doors slid open.   
The sleek, double doors of the med bay were directly in front of the elevator, indicated by the Vulcan symbol for health. His retina scan was taken immediately, and he was granted entry.   
“Doctor Chuk, how is the human faring?” S’chn asked as he entered the room, smoothing down his shirt.   
The doctor turned on her heel and looked up from her PADD, her eyebrows raised at him, “First Officer, I wasn’t expecting you to come by so early.”  
“I am the one who discovered him. I am only inquiring about his well-being, doctor,” S’chn said, “Is he awake?”  
The doctor shook her head, “He is currently in surgery with Dr. Hisum. I’ll allow you to visit him once he’s done, but they’ve only just begun.”   
“What are they performing surgery on?”  
“When he was rushed into the med bay, it was obvious that he was bleeding out. We quickly fashioned a tourniquet to stop the bleeding from the popliteal artery. We took an x-ray of his leg, and found that it was shattered beyond repair.” The doctor looked up from the medical information she had logged thus far about the nameless man, “If you hadn’t gotten to him, First Officer, he would be dead. He’s currently having his leg amputated,”  
“And how are they giving him blood? If I recall correctly, humans have iron, rather than copper, in their blood.” Spock raised an eyebrow.   
Doctor Chuk seemed pleased with herself as she pressed the PADD to her chest and crossed her arms, “Recently, Vulcan technology has made it possible for blood to be replicated- similarly to food replication.”   
“Fascinating.” Spock said, inhaling sharply, “Do you have an estimation as to when the surgery should be finished?”  
“An hour to two. If you have duties on the Bridge, I can retrieve you from there,”   
“That won’t be necessary. I only need my PADD to update my First Officer’s log.” Spock said, “I will return here after I collect it.”   
The doctor nodded, and wandered away from him and back to her desk. She laid her PADD down and began to check the stats of the vaccines they would carry to the planet Quirinus.   
Spock took this as his cue to leave. He found no one on his journey back to his quarters, and was able to settle into his desk. Pulling out the PADD, he clicked on the log application, and began, “Log Date 2458.8, First Officer’s log. After beaming to the surface of the planet, all I could see were ruins, ruins of some kind of civilization- crumbled buildings, deserted streets, charred vegetation…,”   
He recounted the story of how he had found the human being, and attached the recording from his tricorder to the file. He then forwarded it to his Captain.   
As he shut down his PADD, he heard a buzzing from his door- a request for access. He stood from his desk and made his way to the door, allowing them to open. There the doctor stood, in her white lab coat and gloved hands clenching her PADD.   
“Hello, Doctor. Has the surgery been finished?”  
Doctor Chuk nodded, hesitating, “However, he will need to stay in med bay for observation for a few days. He also hasn’t awakened, but I think it is for the best that you are the first face he sees, as his savior.”   
Spock obliged, and followed the doctor back to the med bay. They did not make room for small talk, as Vulcans did not small talk, although Spock wanted to inquire more about the human’s medical treatment. The doctor approached one of the bio beds, curtained by an opaque plastic. She pulled it back, unveiling the human.   
The human’s hands lay folded on his chest, his uninjured cheek pressing the pillow as his mouth lolled open. A thin layer of reconstructive gauze laid on the burns, and the blood had been cleaned and wounds properly bandaged. Most notably, what remained of his left leg was now elevated by a pillow, a nub below the knee.   
“I will stay with him until he wakes. Will it be an issue for you to contact the captain and tell him this?”  
“Of course not, First Officer. Do not tire yourself or deprive yourself of food, even if we Vulcans can go without such.”   
The First Officer nodded, but didn’t really hear. He was too busy observing the human. His skin was the color of plomeek, new blood pulsing in his veins. His ears were rounded. His washed hair appeared golden, rather than the crimson that it had been in the cellar. His eyebrows were soft and arch-less, the same color as his hair.   
Spock did not think it logical, but he found the human being frighteningly beautiful. He thought he had perhaps found the best of the species in him; even in his pain, his words had been poetic and even hypnotizing.   
The human’s eyes fluttered open, and they squinted against the harsh lights of the med bay. He closed them again with a grunt, raising his hand to his face as if to rub it.  
“Careful,” Spock blurted in English, “I would not want you to injure yourself.”   
The man stopped in his tracks, eyes widening. They darted to Spock’s eyes, the color of moss. Spock mustered a smile, his stomach contorting wildly as the human scanned his face and its green hue. He finally settled them on the tips of his ears, then realizing himself, looked away with a flush.   
“Is it possible that I’ve died and gone to heaven?” The human whispered to himself, staring at the bright lights again.   
Spock found it strange that he now had to repress his urge to laugh, “Heaven? What a strange question. How have you come to this conclusion?”  
“It’s just- I remember your voice in the cellar. And now these bright lights, well, that’s what heaven looked like in the movies. And- you’re-,” The man became flustered, “You’re clearly not human,”   
“Is there really such a pointed difference between us?” Spock raised an eyebrow.   
He burst into laughter. Spock had never heard laughter before, except from himself- the man’s was full and airy, and it filled the entire med bay with the human emotion of joy. There was something so explicatively lively in it.   
He wiped tears from his eyes, “Oh, that’s funny. I’m feeling a- pardon my French, angel man- cluster fuck of emotions right now. The world ended, I’m dead. Or maybe I’m not.”  
“I think it is first necessary to introduce ourselves, before I explain and answer your questions. However, the limits of your mind may find it difficult to compute the technicalities of my world’s inheritance.” Spock paused, “I am S’chn T’gai Spock. I am not of the human concept of ‘angels.’”  
The man’s lips attempted to form the word, “Sc- s’c- How the hell do you pronounce that?”   
“You may call me Spock, if you would like.” Spock said, dipping his head reverently.   
“Alright, then, Mr. Spock. I’m Jim. Jim Kirk,” He offered out his hand.   
Spock felt the tips of his ears heat, “Mr. Kirk, we have only just met. That would be inappropriate.”  
“To shake hands? Do, uh, Vulcans not shake hands?”   
“No, but I understand that it is a human custom. Hands are an erogenous zone for Vulcans, for we are touch telepaths.”  
Kirk nodded uncertainly, “I… I see,”   
“I observed that your planet was orbiting sporadically, and I requested that we beam down for an inspection, despite the human attitude towards Vulcans. It appears, according to what I know, that you are the only surviving Terran. I believe the human sentiment would be to apologize.”   
Jim Kirk let out a long breath that broke into a sob. He hugged himself tightly, eyes glazed with tears. He looked down at what was left of his leg for the first time, and choked back a gasp, “My-my leg-,”   
“Sir,” Spock placed a hand on his shoulder, “After we recovered you, our doctor was forced to remove your leg. There was no possibility of saving it.”   
The human did not respond.   
“We will fit you with a leg prosthesis that functions at the same capacity, if not improved.”   
“Mr. Spock,” Kirk said quietly, “I appreciate your company, but would you mind leaving? I need- I need some time to think.”  
“Of course. I will make arrangements for quarters for you to reside in, as well as furnishing you with clothes.” Spock said, rising from his chair, “Do you have any accommodation requests?”   
Kirk pressed his lips into a flat line, hands squeezed together as he stared at the stump, “Nothing that is possible. Thanks for asking, and checking in on me. You have a good rest of the day.”   
“Indeed. I am here to assist you, as you are our guest,” Spock nodded, and raised his hand in a Vulcan salute, “Live long and prosper.”  
“Live long and prosper.” Kirk whispered, and freed the grip from his hand. His knuckles were white. He raised his hand, and although his fingers had difficulty fitting into the salute, the sentiment was still the same.   
It was the first time Spock had ever seen a non-Vulcan do it.   
Stepping outside of the perimeter of the medical curtain, Spock sealed it and turned away. He was required at the bridge, for Captain Spenitt surely would have questions.   
Jim Kirk wept for humanity.


	3. Tabula Rasa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock offers Kirk advice for when he arrives on Vulcan, after receiving a tempting offer.  
> Kirk reminisces the hatred of Earth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh goodness! This really snuck up on me, and I was afraid that I didn't write chapter three, but here we are! I wasn't able to post yesterday because I wasn't at my computer, so I hope no one minds that this is a day late! However, Camp Nano is a GO, so I'm hoping to get a lot done for this story, as well as Don't Put Me To Rest. However, I don't think I'll be posting weekly just because I need to reevaluate the plot of this story. Sorry guys :/  
> As always, you guys are sick of me saying this, if you see any errors, don't be afraid to point them out in the comments! Constructive criticism is always 100% fine by me, and helps me out a lot!  
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

IT had been nearly three days since Spock’s landing party to Earth and the retrieval of Jim Kirk. All of the other landing parties that had been ordered to its surface had returned as well, with empty hands. The only remains were the undamaged data cards of computers, in an attempt to preserve the history of the earth that was logged onto them.  
“First Officer Spock, before you return to your quarters, a word,”  
Spock turned from his post to face Captain Spenitt. Nearly ninety years old, the captain resembled a statue in his grey pallor; an expression of stone, never lifting an eyebrow even in the most illogical of circumstances. Certainly, the most Vulcan of any of them.  
“Of course, Captain,”  
“VSA Command is planning an in-depth operation to extract and recover as much Terran history upon our return to Vulcan. We hold the last human who lived on Earth in our company, and his knowledge is pertinent. There is only so much that articles and records hold. The university is… requesting your assistance, as you have more ties to that culture than most Vulcans,” He said, sitting in the captain’s chair.  
He was talking about his mother. A human colonist, living on the planet over from Vulcan. While she had never been to earth herself, she still was human, and that made Spock…  
“It is your choice whether or not to work with the human. Your work on this starship has been a source of pride to both Ambassador Sarek and VSA Command,”  
“If I’m given the amount of time it takes to reach Vulcan, I will make my decision.” Spock said, inclining his head, “You may understand it is a difficult one.”  
“I find nothing difficult about it, but I will allow you time. You are dismissed from this meeting, First Officer S’chn. Live long and prosper.” Captain Spenitt raised his hand in the ta’al.  
Spock bowed his head and did the same, “Prosper and live long.”  
Turning on his heel, Spock began making his way to the quarters of the human. Doctor Chuk had commed that morning to tell him that Jim had been fitted with a prosthetic leg and moved out of the medbay. Spock thought that he may find his presence… comforting.  
Room 419, Deck 4.  
Coming upon the room, Spock buzzed the doorbell. From the inside there was a groan, then the sound of feet hitting the floor.  
“Who is it?” A muffled voice emitted from the rooms.  
“It is Spock,”  
The doors slid open. Jim Kirk was there, shoulder pressed against the doorframe. His arms were crossed over his chest, wearing a black shirt with a small VSA insignia.  
“I understand that you have been accommodated, and I came to see that you are adjusting.” Spock began to explain, but Jim was already welcoming him in.  
“Thanks for visiting. I appreciate it.” Kirk glanced around the room as he stood at the foot of his bed. He bounced on his feet as he bit down on his lip, “Uhm…. you can sit anywhere you’d like.”  
“Standing will be proficient. I am not tired,”  
Kirk raised an eyebrow and let out a dry laugh, “Well, I want you to be comfortable. You’ve had a long day at work,”  
“Vulcans do not know such an emotion,” Spock said.  
Kirk raised his eyebrows with a smile, and then leaned against the desk, “I- I’d like to apologize for my behavior the other day. I was in shock, and I just needed some time to adjust. I’d like to thank you for your kindness, as well. Bringing me here, and all.”  
“It is quite understandable, Mr. Kirk,” Spock said, “I find it pertinent to impart some of my knowledge to you as you travel to Vulcan. As well as this, I have been selected out of the crew to potentially reside with you as we explore the history of Terrans. Have you been informed of this?”  
“Your captain mentioned it, but didn’t say you would be with me,”  
“It is not definitive. I have until landing to decide if I will go with you,” Spock said.  
Kirk wrapped his arms tightly around himself, nodding as he pressed his eyebrows flat, “Well, go on then. With the advice,”  
“Vulcan is not your mother earth,” Spock clasped his hands together, “It is the world I grew up in, as far removed from your world as worlds can be. It’s a wonder I communicate with you at all- I have shields against the love and hate, the feelings that weaken you. That make you vulnerable.”  
“The feeling that destroyed my world?” Kirk closed his eyes and nodded, “There was a lot of hate. A lot of hate for Vulcans. A lot of hate for people who could not help what they were. That’s why I moved to San Francisco in the first place. To get away from that shitty state,”  
“What state would this be?”  
“Iowa. I was born there. Winona and George Kirk are- were my parents. They were good people. There were just a lot of shitty people there, that-,” He sighed heavily, and his body folded like a piece of paper, “It doesn’t matter though, does it? The good, the bad, they’re all dead, right?”  
Jim met eyes with Spock, who did not know what would be logical to stay in this situation. Pain lined the man’s expression, a tiredness that would not be cured by sleep.  
“So, uh, about the whole difference between Vulcans and humans. Are you guys incapable of feeling, really? When I was in school they said you bunch were bloodthirsty little green men,”  
Spock raised an eyebrow, and tried to hide his amusement, “And what did you think of that?”  
“I always thought it was bullshit. They say the same thing about other groups… I guess you wouldn’t understand. There was a lot of prejudice; skin color, religion, gender, sexuality, stuff like that.”  
“You are correct. I wouldn’t understand,” Spock walked closer to the human, “You could teach me. We are capable of these emotions, but the great Surak’s teachings have shielded us from them. We can push them away. Remain emotionless.”  
“Surak? Is that the Vulcan equivalent to Locke or something?”  
“I am unfamiliar with that name,”  
“Uh, back in the day, there was this big debate between philosophers. It was whether or not humans are born inherently evil. John Locke believed in tabula rasa, or blank slate. Humans aren’t born evil, but rather are formed by the world around them. Individuals are the authors of their souls.” Kirk explained, a gleam in his golden eyes as he talked about the subject, “On the other hand, Thomas Hobbes believed that people were born with evil in their hearts, or rather, selfishness.”  
“What do you believe, Jim Kirk?” Spock has to admit, as illogical as it was, he was curious about human philosophy almost more than anything else.  
Kirk’s eyes drifted closed, rubbing his cheek, “I used to think that every human couldn’t be evil. Part of me still doesn’t. Then Tar- Then I heard so many news reports about people dying, innocent people. I wanted- want to believe that people can be good. But now I just don’t know.”  
“If it is any comfort, Jim Kirk, I find you as you say, ‘good.’ You have been very kind to me despite the stigma against my race on your planet.”  
Kirk’s hazel eyes flew open, and regarded Spock as his mouth fell open. He placed a hand on Spock’s upper arm, eyes soft as he whispered, “Thank you,”  
Spock nodded, “You need rest. Would it be supplementary of me to retrieve you for breakfast tomorrow morning, and the two of us eat together?”  
“That sounds lovely,” Kirk said, with a very human smile. Spock felt his heart thrum in a way he had never experienced, “Goodnight, Mr. Spock,”


End file.
